I wonder why it took me so long, but finally I began to see my dreams in English. Broken English that is, but hey, how much talking do other people do in your dreams? I don't even remember if everything was in English -- my memory works the other way around, storing facts and events, not semantics of expression.
And, again, I see the same place. Same "palace", or whatever it is. Huge building with colonnades, very high ceilings, several stories, garden around it and a small fountain in front of it, with a strip of vegetation stretching out from the fountain all the way to the road. Which is also strange. A small palace off the highway? Does not make any sense. What country is it in? I can never tell.
But anyways. The palace is there, and when I forget about my dreams I see them again -- sometimes from different angle, as if I were a character, moving between the players. So I can see and understand how each of them is thinking, what they feel when same events unravel over and over.
My first experience of this kind was when I saw a dream of my grandmother's house in Ukraine. There was an invisible (but well felt) border in the courtyard, and invisible menace on the other side. A monster I guess. Childish dream, after all. And then some time later I saw the same scene but from the other side. I was that "monster" and I needed to go into the house to prevent something bad from happening, but I was afraid of the other side, so I did not. And then the news came that grandmother died. I was in shock. And since then tried to realize if I see the same dream, to explore things within it. Sometimes it even worked. But that's another story.
Back to the palace. I think there was a war. Some kind of conflict, attack, military action. A team was lead by woman who was an expert chemist (gee, by the looks of her one would not say). We were exploring basement of the palace, not expecting anything bad to happen. But then in one of the rooms the door on the further side fell down (I think, some sort of commotion happened), bringing up a cloud of dust, and people started dropping on the floor. I was the only one with dust mask on, tried to pull one of them out but commander shouted for me to get out. And so I did. We stood in the adjacent room and knew that everyone else was dead. Active agent in the dust. Commander told me to give her the mask and that she was going in. I put a mask on her and checked everything else -- she was fine. She went in there checking things, and I was standing thinking over and over "why did not they wear a mask? It is the protocol after all".
That's where I woke up.
I realized that dream had the same palace as before, when I saw further into the left (if looking at the front entrance) rooms, where special containment block is built, with huge metal walls, that move like doors. Giant room with boxes and boxes of that active agent. That time we got into that room, and when the door locked we had to get out through the transport tunnel, until we went onto the second floor, when we heard the door fell down below (basement/lower level). But we were better equipped with gas mask etc.
I also think there was third episode, where I saw a small house nearby, where one of the workers (me) and buddy lived, in a small room, split by the bookcase into two. Small black-and-white TV in the corner (jeeze, where on earth people have black-n-white TVs these days), hanging plant, and sofa. And then buddy ran in dragging me out saying the lab was assaulted by some special ops. The house was further out on the highway, same off which the palace was.
I wonder if I will see another piece of this puzzle again... Or is it a good reason to visit therapist and try to find out what is in some deep layer of my mind that produces these images. Or are they real and happened some other day, somewhere out there, and five or ten years later, should I live that long, I will stumble upon that place while going down the highway somewhere in Kansas or Missouri?
Who knows..? The dreams will be there, and I will see them again and again, should I let the details slip out of my memory.